Recovery skills are pretty helpful in managing one’s time, relationships, and finances. But what about applying those same skills to life with family? While it may be tempting to get over-involved with the drama of your relatives’ lives — that is a sure-fire recipe for triggering old patterns and adding fuel to the fire — instead, you can use some of the same drug recovery skills you use on yourself every day. This post will look at different ways you can apply your recovery skills to your family life.
Ways You Can Apply Your Recovery Skills to Your Family Life
Use Recovery Skills to Improve Communication
When you are in recovery, the most important thing is to stay accountable and remain honest with others. However, when it comes to family, you often have to work harder to make sure they understand your feelings and respect your choices. For example, instead of acting out when you feel angry or frustrated with a family member, take some time to identify the reasons why you are feeling that way. Maybe that person has been acting irresponsible for a few days in a row, or maybe you have been managing your own life well but feel overwhelmed by the demands of another person. Remember that feelings are just feelings. They aren’t facts, nor do they control what happens in your life or in the lives of your family members. Recovery means expressing your feelings without being reactive, and then doing something productive to take care of yourself or solve the problem at hand.
Use Recovery Skills to Better Manage a Family Member’s Addiction
When you are living with an addict, it is easy to get caught up in their struggles and feel like you have to do something about it. Remember that this isn’t your job — whether it be helping them with their recovery or convincing them to get clean and sober. So long as they are not engaging in any illegal activity, they are taking care of themselves just fine. Learn to become self-reliant, not self-sacrificing. When you do things for other people without having the ability to take care of yourself, you are just letting them control your life. It is important for your family member to be responsible for their own recovery, but until then, it’s up to you to manage the situation and move forward on your own.
Use Recovery Skills to Lower Your Stress Level
Families are stressful and unpredictable places. So, whether you are an addict or a family member of an addict, it is especially important to expose yourself to new activities and experiences that will help you maintain your sense of well-being. Even if you feel like your stress level is under control (it’s not), it’s best to make sure that your health is in check.
Use Recovery Skills to Create Balance in Your Relationships
Relationships can be stressful, but that doesn’t mean they always have to be based on compromise. If you are in a relationship where you feel your partner is spending too much time at the office or not spending enough time with you, take a step back and see whether or not it really matters so much. This feeling of imbalance may be a sign that your relationship is unhealthy and not worth the headache. Turn instead to activities that give you balance, such as spending time with friends, or taking up a new hobby. Many people struggle to keep up with the demands of a romantic partner or family member because they have too much time tied up in their relationships. If you have too much time tied up in your relationships, you are likely more stressed out than you would like to be.
Use Recovery Skills to Take Charge of Your Finances
It is not uncommon for addicts to feel bad about money, their spending habits, and their ability to manage their financial responsibilities. If this describes you, and your family situation is at all problematic, it may be time to take steps to improve your situation. Remember that budgeting is a skill you can learn and utilize in any type of life situation, whether you are living with a drug addict or managing the household finances. So, instead of being reactive to every threatening statement or spending impulsive dollars, take a close look at the situation and determine what actions you can take to improve things. In conclusion, applying recovery skills to your family relationships can be a rewarding and valuable experience.
Recovery is about getting the most out of your life, and that means taking responsibility for everything you need to manage. So, regardless of whether you feel overwhelmed by someone else’s demands, or are trying to make sure all of your responsibilities are met, these skills can help. You can also reach out to us at 833-285-1315 to discuss your recovery situation and how we can help.
